Sarahindie

Mark Rose: I’ve never gotten to see him before, even though he’s a favorite of Molly’s. He is yet another pop-punk frontman who has turned to blue-eyed soul. It’s very good, but the kind of thing I’d be happier seeing if I was sitting. But he is very smartly dressed and I will have to seek out his music. I think it might be chill enough to keep me calm while I do homework.

Rockie Fresh: His DJ starts with six or seven minutes of random songs, and the crowd goes nuts for Phoenix’s “1901.” This is already the weirdest rap show ever.

His dj is surrounded on the stage by his posse. Not really room for that, but more bands should have their entourage take up space on the stage. Especially if they leave their winter coats and scarves on like they’re just passing through.

Oh, it turns out the skinny white guy is his keyboard player/laptop operator. It looks like a scene from Revenge of the Nerds.

I know it makes me the worst black person, but rap is rarely my thing. That said. I like Rockie Fresh’s beats. (That’s what they’re called, right?)

The most hilarious band has joined him! It’s like the most ridiculous possible version of Matthew Gray Gubler on guitar (the faces he makes, you guys) and Dean Pelton on drums. The guitarist makes the most ridiculous faces, like he won the opportunity to play with his favorite band in a contest.

Patrick Stump: There’s a full forty minute wait between the bands and the natives grow restless. I have time to consider what a Patrick Stump based riot would look like.

The band is dressed so formally that they might be in a wedding after. It stands in stark contrast to the way they fling themselves around the stage. Patrick himself is wearing a turquoise suit (where the hell does he shop?) and he opens with a Bowie cover, which segues into two minutes of his single Spotlight, and then onto other things. He does three songs in the first six minutes of the set. If you came wanting to hear all of your song, you might be S.O.L.

Unpopular opinion time: I think Patrick puts on an incredible show, probably the closest I’ll ever get to seeing James Brown or the Time, but I don’t find him personally sexy. I get why he’s attractive and sexy, but he’s not my cup o’ tea. From the girlish shrieking, I’m probably alone. (Redaction: he took off his turquoise jacket and bow tie and kid is fit.)

Since he became a solo artist, Stump has rarely been without his fingerless leather gloves. Only plausible explanation: he is a serious Palahniuk fan and is hiding lye burns on his palms.

Patrick played all the instruments on his record and clearly refuses to let any of that fun. He has his guitar, but then also two snares and a teeny tiny kick drum, and then also what appears to be a half size trumpet. It’s like he raided a kindergarten music class.

Bassist Matt Rubano continues to be the most amusing thing to watch. He makes hilarious faces, like the faces Bill Cosby made when scatting on The Cosby Show. Also, he has his collar and tie loosened like he’s a lounge singer.

He’s taking an encore break. In a sixty minute set. He comes back and does a long impressive drum solo, then sits at the drums to sing “In the Air Tonight.” It’s fairly self indulgent, but then some would say that self financing an album where you play all the instruments is self indulgent. The song after that, Matt Rubano is wearing an item both a bass and a keytar. It looks ridiculous. I cannot believe this is an actual production item.

The Verdict: Such a great show! Go see it if you get a chance.